I have loved and I have been loved
“Let everything happen to you
Beauty and terror
Just keep going
No feeling is final” ― Rainer Maria Rilke
If there’s anything I have learnt in my 22 years on this planet, it is that life is unpredictable and has no rules. What works for person A can be followed to the littlest detail, yet turn out the opposite for person B. I am also one who believes that time is never a metric for value. A couple can be married for 40 years yet lack happiness while another of 5 years is filled with happiness. As of my last article, which was my 2022 review, I was a bit unclear on the feeling of love. I also had an expectation for 2023, to find love. However here I am less than a month away, telling you that love is a beautiful feeling you’ll recognize when you feel it. I know this because I have loved and I have been loved.
The beginning of this love story starts in a funny way. One thing I’m sure of is, if there’s a live concert happening in my city, I’ll be there. It was the 26th of December and Cavemen had a concert in Port Harcourt. I came to the concert venue a bit late because I was now used to Nigerian artists coming late to their shows. I linked up with some of the guys I knew were coming and met a few other folks I knew. I made a funny tweet and the universe heard me or something like that.
Contrary to popular belief, I can be very shy in public, you doubt right? The thing is, if it’s with people I am already familiar with, I’m cool socialising with them. Meeting entirely new people is the ish and this is why I majorly shy away from parties. I was at the concert venue with the intention of meeting a trust fund babe but how was I supposed to start the search? Then I remembered that Twitter exists and if there’s anything I can brag about, it’s finding things I want on the internet. I used Twitter to find women who were also at the concert with me and I ended up meeting two different women that night. I had a short talk with each of them before I left to stay with my guys.
The next day I was in the DM of the most beautiful woman in the world. We had a chat and we decided to meet up, which became our first date, one of many. There was a change to our plans and she invited me to this house party I was already aware of. I came and met a couple of her friends but the house party had too many people and I wasn’t comfortable. They felt the same and we decided to go to a club, oh was that night memorable and as she would say, “we caught a vibe.” I couldn’t stop staring at this woman; the night was fun thanks to everyone. I got to find out she was actually based in Abuja and was in Port Harcourt for Christmas with her family. Ironically, in my 2022 review article, I mentioned not trying anything long-distance again.
I opened up to her about my feelings for her which were mutual but unfortunately, the timing wasn’t right. She had to travel to the UK by the end of January for her master's degree. As I read that text, I felt a sharp pain in my heart, it was like breaking up without being in a dating relationship in the first place. The last time I felt such a pain in my heart was in 2021, when I was listening to I’m Done by The Kid Laroi while eating pancakes and ice cream, I got from Jeremy during Food Fest. I bought it as a peace offering to appease an ex-lover I had wronged, but it and I were rejected at her doorstep after I walked the dusty roads of Nsukka to her lodge. After that day I wanted to see her again, the feeling was mutual and she suggested a car date. I brought wine and she made pasta which was very delicious. Oh, one of the things I’ve picked from her is wines, I know a lot more than I did previously. We met up and like every time I’m with her, I was happy and I got to learn new things.
We decided to have a date at Delaroke Art Gallery. It was going to be the last time we were to see each other in Port Harcourt and I had mixed feelings about it. As awkward as it was, we didn’t avoid talking about the temporary separation. I promised to come to see her in Abuja later in the month, a promise I fulfilled. Driving back home after dropping her off had me feeling sad and teary. Why did I meet someone like this only to leave them? Why was life this tuff?
Days went by and I noticed her distancing, I mentioned it and found out it was her way of coping. I counted the days till I would be in Abuja like I had a lottery winning to cash out. I was finally going to be with this woman. My flight to Abuja was smooth and I really enjoyed my stay in the city. I visited Truckadero, Papiee’s Meatro, Lagos Bistro, Village Chief and Art Tech District (my favourite place) thanks to my unofficial tour guide. I came here for two things; to resolve my passport problem and to see my woman. Waking up most nights to her beside me was beautiful. I would wake, stare at her and then kiss her on her forehead, it was pure bliss. What was there to not love about this woman? She is funny, smart, ambitious and spectacular to say the least. I have never met a woman as vocal and expressive as she is.
I have always been a simple man with a simple standard to the best of my knowledge. Yet finding a woman who checked the four things I wanted wasn’t really easy to come by. Then I met this woman who not only broke the standard, she became it. The timing is bad for now and we can’t be officially boyfriends and girlfriends but who cares about labels? We are both lovers and partners, and we make each other happy.
