I’m tired
“Nigeria is not a nation. It is a mere geographical expression. There are no ‘Nigerians’ in the same sense as there are ‘English,’ ‘Welsh,’ or ‘French,’ The word ‘Nigeria’ is a mere distinctive appellation to distinguish those who live within the boundaries of Nigeria and those who do not” — Obafemi Awolowo
I started this piece after getting off the phone with one of my contacts at the Nigerian immigration. I am frustrated and genuinely tired of this “…geographical expression…” called Nigeria. In the past few weeks, I have seen a lot of shege that I feel I have reached my elastic limit. Since there’s really nothing I can do to change this, I decided to write, my second favourite way of expressing myself.
To let this piece embody a sense of order, I’ll be discussing the shege in order of quantity, from more shege to less. This brings us to why I was calling an immigration officer this evening. I have a problem with my passport and I applied to rectify this. I do not currently bear the names on the initial passport my parents got for me over 10 years ago. I didn’t have plans of visiting outside the country anytime soon so I never bothered about it. Well until August last year when I heard of ETHSafari which was scheduled to hold the next month. I quickly had to ask around to get a contact, because apparently if you don’t process your passport through an officer, you end up waiting way longer than you should deliberately. The system is just built against you.
I informed her of the case and after a heavy payment, I was routed to the H/Q at Abuja as that was the only office that handled “change of name” cases. I later realised I was not going to make it for ETHSafari as my appointment for capture was scheduled for November. A few weeks before it, ASUU called off the ongoing strike then and my exam date fell during my capture period. I had to postpone the trip to Abuja which later happened in January. It’s been two months and my passport is yet to be ready because their technical partners, Iris Smart Technologies Limited, are having technical issues.
I wouldn’t even be disturbing the contacts I have if not for the urgency and importance of what I want to attend, Zuzalu. Zuzalu is a pop-up city happening in Montenegro, from March 25th to May 25th which consists of individuals from various communities, including Ethereum, longevity research, decentralised science (DeSci), public goods, and other related fields. This means by now I’m supposed to have packed my bags for this trip but alas, I had to cancel my already booked flight because I am yet to get the passport. This is something I have been so fascinated about and I have been looking forward to, at least seeing builders in the DeSci, ETH ecosystem IRL. I use the word “something” because calling it an event or conference fails to describe what it is. I even planned on giving a talk about public good but I can’t push for it because I don’t even know if I’ll still make it thanks to the inefficiency of my country.
The other major shege is the state of the country, to be specific this sham act put together called an election. No wonder the late Fela Kuti called our democracy, “demo-crazy” a “demonstration of craze.” I enjoy music which to me is the best way of expressing myself. I also see it as a way of recording history as evident in a couple of songs. It is painful to see the same issues spoken by musicians over 23 years ago still being faced by the present Nigerians. The truth is elections have always been bad in this country and no election tops the 2007 election held by Maurice Iwu yet, however, there was a large spread of hope among the citizens this period, I included. A hope that has been dashed.
What was more alarming was the fact that I shared the same country with quite a large number of people who were showing Fascism traits. As much as I dislike the party APC, I didn’t have a problem with anyone supporting the party although it made me question their moral compass. However, the ones I had a problem with were those who were okay with the role the party played during the election. Especially those who kept silent as people were brutalised just because they wanted to exercise their franchise. After all, “In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.”
I read somewhere today that “It is important for the place we live in to hold us properly. To have everything we need to find ourselves, to be a safe space.” Sadly the place I currently live in has failed to do this. A place I call home which has done more to frustrate my efforts rather than support me. I have an identity tied to this country, one that I have been proud of and I will continue to be. However, the earlier I face reality the better for me because there are lots of “restrictions” that come with living here.
“Nigeria robs us in many many ways…” and unfortunately nobody or deity is coming to save me. I am tired but rather than give excuses to console myself, I’ll do the opposite. I’ll dust my resume, put together my portfolio website (still contemplating between using a CMS or just Notion, any suggestions?), and grind as hard as never before because I am capable of so much more.
